Mr Blonde's Experience and other short stories
by khssConker T
Summary: Mr.Blonde's Experience of Revenge, The Attack of the Evil Dr. Caroll TWO, and Androids in Black.
1. Default Chapter

Chapter 1: Mr.Blonde's Problem in the Cafe..  
  
A skedar gets drop off by a Cloaked Skedar Army ship.. Then makes a fake body image, known as Mr. Blonde..  
  
Mr. Blonde walks to a Cafe.  
  
"Well.. You sure look like a fine man!" A lady says to Mr. Blonde..  
  
Mr. Blonde touches her shoulder and the lady falls to the ground..  
  
Mr. Blonde continues walking to a Cafe and opens the door.. Everyone inside looks at Mr. Blonde, then tries to avoid him..  
  
"Yo.. This new prostitute lady, she got whores and otha good stuff.. Enough about that.. Now, besides the Pimp industry being almost as big as Cassandra de Vries company dataDyne.." A ghetto guy says to his hobo friends..  
  
Mr. Blonde walks up to the ghetto guy in the cafe.  
  
"Will you repeat the best company again.." Mr. Blonde asks..  
  
"Sure.. It was this Pimp industry dog!" the ghetto guy says..  
  
"After that, you fool!" Mr. Blonde says madly at the ghetto guy in the Cafe..  
  
"dataDyne! Yo big dumb matha *@%ER!" the ghetto man adds..  
  
"Good..." Mr. Blonde says..  
  
Mr. Blonde walks up to the counter..  
  
"Do you have any Orange Ice Cream Flavored donuts?" Mr. Blonde asks..  
  
"No.." The worker at the cash register answers.  
  
"How about Bagels and creamed cheese, must have the cream CHEESE!" Mr. Blonde asks.  
  
"Out of the Cream Cheese." The cash register worker answers..  
  
"Do you have a holey ghetto man?" Mr. Blonde asks..  
  
"No.. But is that some sort of drink." the cash register worker asks..  
  
"Looks like you will have one.." Mr. Blonde says..  
  
Mr. Blonde gets out his Mauler.. Points it at the Ghetto man, and starts shooting the ghetto man! Then the ghetto man falls to ground with holes all over his body..  
  
"Looks like you have one now!" Mr. Blonde yells, evilly, while all of the people in the cafe run away!  
  
"Please.. Don't kill me, you can have all the cash you want." The cash register worker says..  
  
"NO!I want all your Donuts and Bagels!" Mr. Blonde yells, pointing his Mauler at the cash register worker..  
  
"Okay, please, just don't shoot!" the worker says..  
  
The worker gives Mr. Blonde all the food in the store, then faints to the floor when seeing Mr. Blonde's gun pointed at him.  
  
"Fool.. I wasn't gonna waste my ammunition on you!" Mr. Blonde says as he puts his Mauler back in one of his pockets. Then he leaves with a cup of coffee and a big bag of Donuts and Bagels..  
  
Mr. Blonde then walks up to an information center that is less than a block away..  
  
"Hey.. I'm Mr. Hint Man, I helped people in EarthBound, and I'm here to help you.." the Hint Man says..  
  
"I'd like to know if Cassandra De Vries is still alive, and where she is.." Mr. Blonde says..  
  
"Yes, she is alive.. Across the street.. 2 blocks away.. In a big building.. On the highest floor the Elevator can go to.. That'll be 50 bucks!" The hint man says..  
  
"Thanks.. But for you, I'll spare your life!" Mr. Blonde says.  
  
"You a$$hole! How dare you mess with the HINT MAN!I worked in Earth Bound.. Now pay me!" Hint Man suddenly demands, getting out a Falcon 2!  
  
"Too bad.. Had your chance." Mr. Blonde says..  
  
"You fool, pay me, NOW!" Hint Man demands.. Then shoots Mr. Blonde's cup of coffee..  
  
Mr. Blonde gets angry..  
  
"Thats it, I'm sick of you.." Mr. Blonde says calmly, getting out his Mauler, then blasts the Hint Man in the head and Hint Man dies!  
  
Mr. Blonde exits the place..  
  
Mr. Blonde then spots a mob.  
  
"Yo.. Give us your money!" The Mob Boss says..  
  
"Only if you have. CHEESE!" Mr. Blonde demands..  
  
"We got cream CHEESE!" a stupid mufia member replies..  
  
"Please excuse my rudeness, but I must attend to do something." The mob boss says to Mr. Blonde.  
  
"People, have gotta show the appropriate levels of, RESPECT and PRIVACY! When I respect you and give you your privacy, I expect to be respected back, with privacy.. One of you have shown no respect, no privacy towards others, and gave away information. Who could it be?" the Mob Boss suddenly asks sarcastically..  
  
"Could have been, Mink Hunter.." Mob Boss says..  
  
Mink Hunker shakes his head from side to side..  
  
"Could have been Octopus Prime.." Mob Boss says..  
  
Octopus Prime, just sits in his wheelchair, with no reaction, because he is of course, Paralyzed..  
  
"Or could have been. That guy over there or ME!" the Mob Boss yells..  
  
Mink Hunker gets freaked out and RUNS away, while Octopus Prime, drives away in the other direction..  
  
The other mufia Members get confused..  
  
"Yes, you told him about the CHEESE! Now you shall.."  
  
"Will you stop this, discussion.." Mr. Blonde demands.  
  
The Mob Boss gets out all his Cream CHEESE!  
  
"Now, I shall get my revenge! Muah haha hahahahaha!" Mob Boss laughs..  
  
Mr. Blonde shoots the Mob Boss in the head with his Mauler, very quickly, and the Mufia Leader falls to the ground dead..  
  
"Here, take this Bomb spy, and thanks.." a mob member says, and hands the Bomb Spy to Mr. Blonde..  
  
"How about, CHEESE." Mr. Blonde asks, while putting the BombSpy in his jacket..  
  
"NO!" the member replies..  
  
Mr. Blonde gets mad and kills all the remaining Mufia members with his Mauler.. Then takes all the cheese on them.  
  
Mr. Blonde then walks two blocks and passes the street to the dataDyne building..  
  
Mr. Blonde gets out all of his Donuts,and eats em all! Then he quickly throws his bag of now only Bagels on the ground, take one out, and then stuffs the Bag in his jacket..  
  
"Contact to Skedar justice.. Hostage Casandra de Vries' location is now known.. All rumors are true, the dataDyne company is too Successful.. She has crimes against us, because she has some of our Technology, such as the Cloaking Device.." Mr. Blonde says to his communication device..  
  
"Okay.. Capture Casandra de Varies, take her hostage, and make sure she never gets harmed.. She is needed, so bring her to the Attack Ship, a vessel will come and pick you up!" A Skedar replies.  
  
Mr. Blonde then finds the door locked..  
  
Mr. Blonde bangs on the door, and it opens..  
  
Mr. Blonde, walks in, with a serious breathing problem, with a mauler in his right hand, and a Bagel with cream-cheese in the left... 


	2. Mr. Blondes Experience of Revenge (Part ...

Note: This will be turned into Perfect Dark Short Stories soon, filled with Short stories with characters from perfect dark. And even Interviews, enough of that..  
  
Note: In case some of you didn't know, Mr. Blonde's Revenge takes place after the Cetan, and before the Carrington Institute Defense, or at the same time..  
  
  
  
Mr. Blonde's Experience of Revenge: Part Two  
  
Mr. Blonde puts Cream Cheese on his bagel, and eats it..  
  
"The power, oh yes.. Now to continue the mission.." Mr.Blonde says.  
  
Mr. Blonde looks around, and spots two computers..  
  
"Last time I went here, there were two very odd CMP's behind the desk.. I wonder if the idiots put them there, again, without ever using them.." Mr. Blonde thinks to himself..  
  
Mr. Blonde goes behind the desk, finds two CMP's, and grabs both..  
  
"What the heck? I can't use both, only the Ammunition, why do the bother putting the other one there, if it can't be used, the Company is over using my race too much.. Well, to save ammo, I use this CMP150.." Mr. Blonde thinks to himself.. Then he realizes he has only 20 bullets..  
  
"Ah, enough of this, the people know who I am.." Mr. Blonde realizes, well, sorta, then puts his CMP150 in his jacket.. He walks up to a Female Guard, and suddenly she runs..  
  
Mr. Blonde follows her, but then suddenly, he finds a bunch of Female Guards, all trying to shoot at him, with horrible accuracy. Mr. Blonde punches a guard out and she falls to the ground fainted.  
  
Suddenly, a Guard Hits Mr. Blonde, doing little damage, but Mr. Blonde gets out a CMP150, and shoots her till she dies.. Mr. Blonde turns around and wastes all his CMP150 ammunition on the female guard trying to open a door, but the guards on the other side hear the noise, and they open the door.. Mr. Blonde packs their heads with more hot Plasma from his Mauler. Then walks into the Computer Terminal Room.  
  
"These consoles need to be destroyed!" Mr. Blonde yells.  
  
He packs the nearest console with Plasma and they blow up after three shots, then he turns out and shots the hub and another Terminal with plasma, blowing both up after 4 shots.  
  
Mr. Blonde leaves the room and heads toward the lab lift, killing every guard in his path.  
  
"The scientist have used our technology too much, and had it for a long while.. Place the Bomb we gave you earlier in the lift.." the Skedar from the attack ship tells Mr. Blonde..  
  
"It's too early. Besides, that little time would set off the bomb with the vessel.." Mr. Blonde leaves the lab lift and heads towards the two elevators upstairs.  
  
"The dataDyne Captains have one of our Cloaking Devices and remains to stay invisible.. As humorous as the concept of a human wiping out our race is, don't let her live with the Cloaking Device on her." The Skedar from the Attack Ship communicates..  
  
"The chances of her stopping me is very minimal, what is the point.." Mr. Blonde asks.  
  
"The point is, she can control the elevator and keep you stuck, the other is that if she lives, she will be able to keep the Cloaking Device and reveal it to the world.. Making plans ruined.." the Skedar replies..  
  
Mr. Blonde hears breathing near an elevator lift, he walks up to it and the door turns out to be locked.. Mr. Blonde walks away from the elevators and heads down-stairs..  
  
"I found her, it'll be easy to get her now.." Mr. Blonde adds.  
  
"Explosives are the only tools that can immediately kill her without having guess with you Plasma.." the Skedar jaberr-jabbas..  
  
Mr. Blonde places a Bomb Spy on the ground, and it heads towards the locked elevator..  
  
"OH SHIIII" the woman yells just before the Bomb blows-up and kills her.. Mr. Blonde goes to the lab lift..  
  
"Now just plant the bomb and try to survive.." the Skedar communicates.. Mr. Blonde opens the doors and runs all the way to the elevators..  
  
"Come on you annoying Elevator. I can't believe humans would invent something like this that is so slow! Walking up the stairs is much faster." Mr. Blonde complains..  
  
The elevator comes down 29 seconds later, and Mr. Blonde kicks the door down and enter it.. 20 seconds later, Mr. Blonde accesses the highest floor to possible use the Elevator in..  
  
Mr. Blonde walks out, gets noticed, and runs upstairs.. Only to meet a Darth Vader wanna be!  
  
"Hey Mr. Blonde! I am you father! You are lucky that you ugly ass mom *beep* me good, because if she didn't, I would have killed her with my Darth Bomb!" the Darth Vader wanna be says.  
  
"What, I don't have time for this.." Mr. Blonde replies..  
  
"You are a sissy Skedar using a human disguise.. When you were 18 , your balls were as little as a thumb-tack!" the Darth Vader wanna be says.  
  
"Okay, I lied, I'm not your father, but I'm going to kick your ugly arse anyways!" Darth Vader wanna be says, then punches Mr. Blonde twice..  
  
Mr. Blonde gets out 2 CMP150's and packs the Darth Vader wanna be's head full of lead.. And Continues to go upstairs.. He walks out of the stair case and finds two woman with shotguns, but mows them down with the double CMP150's. Suddenly, a Shock Trooper throws an N-Bomb, making Mr. Blonde lose one of his CMP150's, and he tries to escape the blast, thus making the Shock Trooper kill himself.. Mr. Blonde stands by the elevator door which has the elevator the Cloaking dataDyne Captain was killed in.. He waits for the elevator, and 20 seconds later it appears, then he takes it up, comes out, and heads into Cassandra's Office..  
  
"Altho Cassandra may be someone you are wanting to kill, I suggest you should protect for the momment, because some reason, Guards will try to shoot Cassandra.. I find these humans rather strange, but that's just me. We want her awake, not K-Oed either.." the Skedar communicates once again, to Mr. Blonde..  
  
"YOU! GET THE HELL OUT OF MY OFFICE YOU SKEDAR!" Cassandra yells.. Then pulls out DY357 Deluxe Magnum!  
  
"Oh. Well.." Mr. Blonde thinks for a while, then suddenly, Cassandra De Vries starts shooting, with horrible accuracy..  
  
Mr. Blonde quickly takes the Deluxe Magnum out of her hand..  
  
"Wow, you are so handsome, Mr. Blonde, why, I never noticed how sexy you were.." Cassandra tells Mr. Blonde..  
  
"Sorry, but your pathetic fake lust acting isn't enough for me.." Mr. Blonde replies to Cassandra.. Cassandra backs away.  
  
"Go to the heli pad, if you want to live!" Mr. Blonde yells..  
  
"You won't shoot me you evil Skedar you! Foolish Child Skedar that is!" Cassandra replies..  
  
"Fine then, now get in the Shuttle.." Mr. Blonde yells..  
  
The two walk up stairs..  
  
"If I were you, I leave now, instead of just looking around!" Cassandra yells..  
  
"Shutup, this building is going to blow up, and you aren't helping.."  
  
Mr. Blonde runs all the way up stairs to the highest shelter floor.  
  
Suddenly, he and Cassandra walk up to a Darth Vader wanna be.  
  
"Help me go to the Heli Pad." Cassandra says, because what she really was thinking was something that Mr. Blonde would get pissed off about..  
  
"No.. I am Darth Vulgar! I will kill both of you, now listen to me. Cassandra, you lost your virginity by me! You were very horrible at *beep*! And you, Mr. Blonde, you are a damn Skedar! I don't need to say much *beep* about you, *beep* *beep* ! I am Darth Vulgar, my balls are as big as the Death Star!" Darth Vulgar says..  
  
Mr. Blonde picks up Darth Vulgar as he continously uses Vulgar words, then Mr. Blonde throws him off the ramp.. Cassandra and Mr. Blonde then continue..  
  
Mr. Blonde walks up and finds, another Darth Vader fan..  
  
"I have a lifesaver and helment from StarWars! See!" He yells..  
  
Mr. Blonde pushes the weakling to the side and continues to head upstairs, then goes outside, running to the ship, with 30 seconds to spear.. However Cassandra enters the shuttle with a Knife, a DY357 Deluxe Magnum, a Grenade, a CMP150, a Super Dragon, and a Devastator all in her big hair due, behind her back, and in her clothing..  
  
The Skedar Shuttle takes off and the 2 Darth Vader fans whatch the Shuttle take off..  
  
"It all yours fault, if you didn't act like Darth Vulgar, you could have shot him in the head, but noo. Instead you use VULGAR words at him.." the Darth Vader fan yells..  
  
"So its my fault he planted a Bomb and got away with Cassandra.. Well, fine, I'll just blow-up the shuttle to make you feel all better! YOU *beep* *beep* jerk!" Darth Vulgar yells, then gets out a rocket Launcher and aims at the Skedar Shuttle..  
  
"You always do it wrong!" the Darth Vader fans yells, then grabs the Rocket Launcher, aims at the Skedar Shuttle and tosses the Rocket Launcher away..  
  
"That Target Rocket fires slowly, so it'll only catch up it makes a u-turn, or n- turn, whatever it is, and besides, that won't prevent the building from exploding you *beep* *beep* dumbass!"  
  
"WELL YOU ARE A GOD DARN FUC"  
  
Suddenly, the Building EXPLODES and the Rocket Hits the Skedar Shuttle! ALL BLOWING UP!  
  
  
  
THE END?  
  
*Meanwhile, at the Hint Man's place, which was smashed by the Lucern Tower..*  
  
Hint Man lifts up boulders, climbs out of the rubbish, and suddenly his head falls off.. Then his body breaks apart and a Computer that looks like Dr. Carrol is seen from where Hint Man used to be.  
  
The module floats up to a broken dataDyne camera. Then, someone yells,  
  
DOCTOR CARROL TWO!!!!!!!! 


	3. Attack of the EVIL Dr. Caroll TWO (part ...

Disclaimer- I do not own any Perfect Dark characters.. All are own by Rare.. Dr. Caroll 2 is based off of Dr. Carrol and Carl (CBFD) mixed together, enough of that.. ATTACK OF THE EVIL DR. CAROLL 2!  
  
Long ago, in the year 2023, or maybe it wasn't ago, but any how, dataDyne Scientist lost the sapient Dr. Caroll.. He was taken by Joanna, and however, Dr. Caroll was quickly taken back... Cassandra had made sure Dr. Caroll's personality was taken out/ butchered, but Joanna found a copy of it in a safe place.. Later, when she got to the Cetan, she used that copy, but only to find out, that Dr. Caroll had to use a self-destruct sequence to prevent the Skedar from using the Cetan's very powerful, weapon, Thing.. However, while Dr. Caroll was in the Skedar hands, Cassandra demanded another Dr. Caroll... One that was sorta like her.. The scientists had some data leftover of Dr. Caroll in their computers, and they began programming what was left.. Cassandra felt threaten because of Mr. Blonde, she knew he was a Skedar, and tried to keep it a secret, but it wouldn't matter, because the Skedar would meet her again, and she felt unsure if the second Dr. Caroll should be done in her building.. She told the scientists who were working on the second Dr. Carrol to move to the G5 building with all the data, tools, ect. They used some of the leftover technology from the Skedar to give the second Dr. Caroll more defenses.. Mainly having cannons that could shoot out mines, knives, grenades, and N-Bombs.. It was also added with a Cloaking System, and an oral modulation unit to keep it hidden.. The scientists also gave it totally un-necessary information, such as Cartoons, Video Games, and even put in a Personality, which wasn't suppose to happen at all.. By the time they finished, they went back to the Lucern Tower, a.k.a. dataDyne building, and came with Dr. Caroll Two... Twice as better then the old one the scientists thought, but as they daydreamed while walking into the dataDyne building, Dr. Caroll Two became a little insane, and left the suitcase somehow and flew away to hide somewhere, mainly used his cloaking and holographic system.. The scientists keep thinking of raise, went up to Cassandra, and said.. "The project is complete, have a look." Cassandra grabbed the suit-case and looked in side to see, Nothing.. "YOU ARE FIRED! WHAT A HORRIBLE PRANK!" she yelled, then called security and they pushed the scientists out of the building where they fell all the way to the ground, and somehow survived the fall.. A couple of days later, Mr. Blonde came to the Lucern Tower, knowing that Dr. Caroll, original, self-destructed, thus all of the Skedar's plans were ruined, they gave Cassandra their technology just to use Dr. Caroll and have that weapon from an un-known race inside a living creature, cetan.. Sense the Skedar didn't get what they wanted, Mr. Blonde desided to go and help the Skedar seek revenge, by collapsing the tower, and blowing up the under-ground labs.. Plus kidnapping Cassandra and bringing her to the Attack ship.. Now, on with the story.. 1 and a half years later...  
  
*Carrington Institute.*  
  
Elvis started saying odd words, and started talking about being a host at some Melee place, but no-one really knew what he was saying, nor cared..  
  
"Joanna, I have another boring arse mission for you.." Daniel Carrington tells Joanna..  
  
"What is it, sir..." Joanna replies, regretfully..  
  
"You must apologize to all the families of the people you killed..." Daniel tells Joanna..  
  
Suddenly a box smashes into Jonathan's room..  
  
Jonathan runs in with a CD that's the size of a thumb-tack..  
  
"I got this odd package in my room Mr. Carrington!" Jonathan shouts..  
  
"You don't have to shout, now where was I.. Oh yes, then that stupid Pikachu used it's razor sharp fangs on Pichu, and both died because of stupidity and Jigglypuff.. There was so much blood on the stage!" Elvis goes on and on, and on..  
  
"Jonathan! You have an ESDVD!" Carrington replies..  
  
"What does ESDVD stand for anyways?" Elvis asks..  
  
"Extremely Small, forget it Elvis, not important.." Carrington replies, then grabs the ESDVD and puts it in his ESDVD player..  
  
Suddenly, a giant TV screen appears outta no-where.. It goes on, and a strange figure that looks like Dr. Caroll is seen, floating on it..  
  
"Dr. Caroll is alive?" Joanna yells in shock..  
  
"Now, I hate you damn fancy tofee nosed snobs, but if you are, wait, I know what you are thinking Joanna.. NO, I AM NOT DR. CAROLL YOU DUMBASS!" Dr. Caroll 2 yells on the screen..  
  
"I won't explain.. But I shall be having my revenge on the Carrington Institute, then the Maians, then the Skedar!" Dr. Caroll Two .  
  
"Why revenge on---" Joanna is about to finish but Dr. Caroll 2 begins to answer..  
  
"BECAUSE YOU ATTACKED dataDYNE! The company, I WAS CREATED BY, and, HATE! I know you weren't smart enough, because... YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE DOING! NO IDEAAAAAA! Your brains combined are too stupid to handle my superior knowledge you *@%S! Now why don't you do something more useful, like sex, sense us sapients can't perform that.. You, Elvis, no matter what, you go in combat with that big ass head of yours, and think you'll survive, but you are just lucky, I can't believe you try to Kong-Fo Skedar, they'll kill you in 2 or 3 hits.. Hint, get a giant helmet and also use more than 40% of your brain! But at least you can use your brain more than the stinking average human, with 12.6%! You Maians are begging to be killed by Skedar, hearing the noise you make when you die or get hurt! And Skedar, they are just something needed to be proved as extremely stupid, with a weak spot that is weaker than a humans weak spot!" Dr. Caroll 2 yells..  
  
"The" Jonathan starts  
  
"Not the balls! The head you dumb *@%er! Now prepare for an Invasion, bigger than any other! Plus don't even bother finding me, I have a Cloaking System and a Disguise unit, but without Cloaking and the disguise, you wouldn't find me anyway! Now good bye! And *@% YOU ALL!" Dr. Caroll 2 yells..  
  
"Oh, and if you want to find me, you'll need, perhaps, a downgraded version of me.. Damn toffee nosed snobs! And that version of course, was self- destructed in the Cetan, dumbasses.." Dr. Caroll 2 yells..  
  
The Giant Screen Disappears..  
  
"Jo, about apologizing to all those people, forget it.." Daniel tells Joanna.  
  
"Doesn't that Sapient know he was programmed by humans?" Elvis asks..  
  
"Well, technically... Yes, if you count thousands of robots working on ther Sapient Number 2, which the robots were programmed by humans, and Scientists worked as hard as they could, I guess so... Or maybe he doesn't... Either way... it doesn't matter..." Daniel Carrington tells Elvis..  
  
"Joanna, Jonathan, and maybe Elvis... Check the Pelagic II.." Daniel Carrington tells them.. Velvet Dark walks in..  
  
"Err.. You too... Now get the weapons you want from the firing range..." Daniel Carrington tells them.. The group runs downstairs and runs back up..  
  
"I got Trent's Magnum.. Shouldn't be a problem.." Jonathan says..  
  
"I got the best weapon I'm with.." Elvis pulls out a Farsight XR-20.  
  
"I got Callisto NTG.." Joanna says..  
  
"I got, this thing.." Velvet pulls out a Magsec 4..  
  
"Good.. Now find the remains of Dr. Caroll, the original.." Daniel Carrington says..  
  
*Pelagic II.*  
  
The foursome drag them selves out of the moon pool that Elvis and Joanna took last time..  
  
"The ship wandered away from the Cetan, we have to get access!" Elvis says..  
  
A Pelagic II sailor stands in front of them..  
  
"OH NO! It's her!" the guy yells...  
  
Suddenly, thousands of guards enter with Sniper Rifles, Deluxe Magnums, and RCP120s.  
  
"Uh, oh." Elvis gulps..  
  
"OH YES! It's the ALIEN!" the guy yells.. "Actually, the correct term would be Maian, but would you get it over with.." Elvis replies..  
  
"Everyone, puts your guns away... Let's get Elvis' autograph!" the guy yells..  
  
All the guards walk up to Elvis, all over a thousand, in a tiny Moon Pool room...  
  
"Sign my Magnum! It has Trent's autograph, but cross that out and put yours in!" a guard says with excitement..  
  
2 hours later..  
  
"My hand... Ow.." Elvis complains, after signing each gun..  
  
"Okay, now can we borrow this ship.." Joanna asks..  
  
"NO!" the guards yell..  
  
"Can I borrow this ship?" Elvis asks.  
  
"Sure.." They reply..  
  
"Okay... Now do me a favor, all of you jump off the ship, and swim home!" Elvis tells them..  
  
All the guards and Sailors/Pilots run upstairs to the highest floor, and they jump off the Pelagic II into the ocean, and get caught in a rift current..  
  
*30 minutes later..*  
  
Elvis looks up at a TV screen.  
  
The Pelagic II stops.  
  
"Right, we are above the Cetan ship, are you guys ready?" Jonathan asks.  
  
"I'm still whatching this old Program made by Jhonen Vasquez on why Nickelodeon sucks!" Elvis replies..  
  
Joanna grabs Elvis and yanks him away..  
  
"NOO! Beautiful screen! NOOO!" Elvis screams as he is yanked by Velvet and Joanna.. Then they all enter the KMR-130873 Sub..  
  
*Cetan Ship, Deep Sea..*  
  
The KMR-130873 sub goes down to the Cetan, and ejects them on an Elevator in the Cetan Ship.  
  
"Ow.." Everyone says.. A little confused..  
  
The Elevator goes down...  
  
Everyone except Velvet gets back up...  
  
"This doesn't seem normal, I don't see any computer controlled creatures.." Elvis says puzzled..  
  
"No electricity functioning, no throwable objects, or smart ass remarks.." Joanna says confused..  
  
"Well, you should know that the Cetan Ship got triggered with Explosives... Which would totally mess up the Cetan Ship which makes this place, useless to anyone except information.." Jonathan remarks  
  
"I need information.. Who the hell are the CETANS?" Joanna asks.  
  
"Not sure.. They aren't Skedar, now are you happy.. I've seen their ship crash, and been in here before it was blown-up, but thats it." Elvis replies..  
  
"Has anyone noticed Velvet was knocked out.." Jonathan asks.  
  
"Who cares.." Joanna replies..  
  
"There has to be someone, or something inside the blown up Cetan Ship.." Elvis tells Jonathan and Joanna.. They walk deeper and deeper into the Trashed ship..  
  
After walking through most of that pitch black, they trip over the remains of Dr. Caroll, out of pure luck...  
  
*Carrington Institute.*  
  
"Well Joanna, seems you found Dr. Caroll's remains.." Daniel Carrington tells her..  
  
"Yeah, now can I have a raise or some beer.." Joanna asks.  
  
"You can have something from Grimshaw when you give him what's left of Dr. Caroll!" Daniel tells Joanna..  
  
*Joanna walks into the Bio room (with Cheats also) and walks up to Grimshaw...*  
  
"Stop harassing! Do you want a Criminal Record?" Grimshaw tells Joanna.  
  
"No.. I need you to fix the remains of Dr. Caroll." Joanna tells Grimshaw..  
  
"Okay.. Show me it's remains.."  
  
Joanna gets out what used to be Dr. Caroll and shows Grimshaw..  
  
"Oh right... The explosion... Of course... But showing it to me isn't useful at all, in fact, that thing is completely burnt.." Grimshaw tell Joanna..  
  
"So there is nothing you can do?" Joanna asks.  
  
Grimshaw takes what used to be Dr. Caroll from Joanna, examines it, and rips it in half..  
  
"What are you doing, you idiot!" Joanna yells..  
  
Dr. Carolls memory card falls to the ground..  
  
"Like I always say, its Hacker Central.. Now go do something while I fix this.." Grimshaw tells Joanna.. Joanna leaves..  
  
"This is completely embarassing, the only thing that this Memory card will go in, is a Windows 2000 or less, with DOS 6.2.." Grimshaw thinks to himself..  
  
A lady sits looking at a computer..  
  
"Don't you have anything better to do?" Grimshaw asks.  
  
"No.. Daniel Carrington says I'm not allowed to leave this seat, or I'll lose all my money and get sued if I quit.." THE LADY replies..  
  
Grimshaw picks up the chair the lady is in, and tosses it outside.. Then locks the door..  
  
Grimshaw gets out a remote control, and suddenly, he presses a button that says "Crappy Old Stuff!" Suddenly, a Windows 2000 with Dos 6.2 pops out of the ground...  
  
Grimshaw inserts the Dr. Carolls Memory Card in the computer, and starts the system..  
  
C:\  
  
"D@mn!" Grimshaw yells..  
  
C:\ CI Files  
  
Directory for C:\  
  
PDgames.exe  
  
Raredisclaimer.doc  
  
BlondeRevengeExperience1&2.doc  
  
NRMatureMovie.exe  
  
DoctorCarollMemory&Personality.exe  
  
WhyRareRules.exe  
  
"Oh... Sense I'm alone.. I guess I'll.."  
  
C:\ NRMatureMovie.exe  
  
Error: Blank File  
  
"Er.. Anyways.."  
  
C:\ DoctorCarollMemory&Personality.exe  
  
To do so Reboot Computer..  
  
Grimshaw turns off the computer, and hits the power button, but it won't go on..  
  
"Hey, Joanna, come back in.." Grimshaw yells..  
  
Joanna runs in..  
  
"See this old Computer, it was around when you were born, now push the power button.." Grimshaw tells Joanna.  
  
Joanna walks up to the hard-drive and pushes power, and the computer turns on.. But no image appears on the monitor..  
  
"Oh sh*t!!!" Grimshaw yells, then he starts kicking the monitor..  
  
"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU ARE DOING!" a voice says..  
  
"Ah yes... Dr. Caroll!" Grimshaw says, still kicking the monitor for an image.  
  
"YOU DON'T REALLY! PLEASE! STOP! YOU ARE HITTING ME! YOU DO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING? RIGHT!" Dr. Caroll yells..  
  
Grimshaw lowers Dr. Carolls voice and Dr. Carolls face appears on the monitor...  
  
"Um, you are still capable of thinking? Right?" Joanna asks..  
  
"Yes.. I'm guessing you want to know where my crude language upgrade is I suppose..." Dr. Caroll tells Joanna..  
  
"Yes.. Where is it?" Joanna asks..  
  
"That horrible crude upgrade, is going to be at the G5 Building tonight..." Dr. Caroll replies...  
  
"Good, now, BYE!" Joanna says as she leaves..  
  
"Wait, do you have any idea what you are doing? ANY IDEA AT ALL?" Dr. Caroll asks..  
  
"SHUTUP!" Grimshaw yells, then mistakenly bangs on the computer to cause Dr. Caroll and the computer to crash..  
  
*At Chicago.*  
  
"I suspect the G5 Corporation is hostage and there is going to be a meeting in the building. I know Dr. Caroll is going to be there, but I need to know who else is going to be there and what they are going to discuss. Now good luck." Daniel Carrington communicates to Joanna.  
  
"Great, now I have to get it, and its going to be heavily guarded this time.." Joanna whispers to Velvet Dark, who is still unconcious.  
  
Joanna drives down in front of the Pond Punk, which is where that Police Car was.. She gets out hears lots of Noise in the Pond Punk.. She realizes that the Pond Punk is full of stripers, after hearing the men yelling in there. She walks up to the G5 Elevator and enters. 


	4. Attack of the Evil Dr.Caroll TWO (Part 2...

Warning: Very corny story line. It had to be short. Remember..  
  
Attack of the Evil Dr. Caroll TWO (Part 2)!  
  
*G5 Building.*  
  
Joanna rolls into the room, and looks around.  
  
"Hmm.. This place isn't guarded.." Joanna thinks to herself..  
  
Joanna looks around. And finds no-one.  
  
"Good thing I brought the IR Scanner with me.." Joanna says to herself, while she gets out her IR Scanner and puts then on..  
  
"THERE YOU ARE! YOU STUPID CLEANING HOVBOT!" Joanna yells.  
  
The Cleaning HovBot stays cloaked, and doesn't respond, just cleans the place.  
  
"Hey you.. Uncloak!" she yells..  
  
Joanna takes off her IR Scanner.. And the Cleaning HovBot uncloaks..  
  
"I'll fight you because I said so. If you win, you can clean up, If I win, I get access to the next room.." Joanna tells the Cleaning HB.  
  
The HovBot responds. Then starts to charge at Joanna, but Joanna jumps to the side!  
  
The Cleaning HOVBOT does a vacuum attack and sucks up Joanna's Falcon Silenced! Then the HovBot starts GLOWING RED, and then---  
  
Joanna steps on the HovBot by accident and breaks it..  
  
"Oops.."  
  
Joanna picks up her Falcon 2 Silenced from the rubble.. She opens the door in her way, and walks all the way to the Laser Grid area near the first alarm.. She walks downstairs from the spot into. A room with computers, a room with. Computers..  
  
She turns off the Damping Field Generator because she felt like it.. And leaves the room, and gets out her Cam Spy.. Then controls it all the way to the conversation room.  
  
*Conversation Room.*  
  
Dr. Caroll Two sits in the chair Mr. Blonde sat in, but the chair was all beaten up of course and smelled like Skedar Feices, but Dr. Caroll Two didn't have a sense of smell, or if he does, he could control it.. A G5 Patrol Robot floats above the chair where Cassandra sat, and a kidnapped child is taped to a wall.. "The Carrington Institute is not a threat to any sapients.. And therefore, should be second or last on the list.. Ha ha ha.. Seriously.." the G5 Patrol Robot tells Dr.C Two..  
  
"Um. I'm really not suppose to be here! Can I please go to the bathroom?" the child in the room asks..  
  
"But that will reduce the *@%IN fun of destroying the feckin Skedar race. They need more time to clone themselves before I kick all their sorry little asses!" Dr. Caroll Two tells the G5 Patrol Robot..  
  
"But then you wouldn't give the humans enough time.." the G5 Patrol Robot tells Dr.C TWO..  
  
"I really can't stand being here! This place smells a lot, and my arse itches. I'm thirsty too!" the child complains..  
  
"Perhaps we could make a time machine to solve this, you know how to make one, correct?" G5 PR asks Dr,C Two.  
  
"I need arms to do that you *@%!" Dr. Caroll Two replies..  
  
"I have arms!" The little boy taped to a wall says..  
  
Suddenly, the Elevator door opens, and an Area 51 Robot Interceptor hovers in..  
  
"Is it true, that you didn't do anything about the fact Joanna Dark is whatching us with her Cam Spy?" Dr.Caroll Two asks..  
  
"No. Perhaps I"  
  
Suddenly, a cannon ejects from Dr.Caroll Two, and a Timed Mine launches from it and straps to the Area 51 Robot Interceptor, then the Robot Interceptor bursts into a ball of flames..  
  
"Lets leave now, to our next meeting for the Internet.." Dr.Caroll Two tells the G5 Patrol Robot..  
  
Dr.Caroll suddenly cloaks and then uncloaks as a Maian, then pulls the kid taped to the wall off, and run-away with him, and Cloaks..  
  
"Joanna, get out of their! Quickly!" Daniel communicates..  
  
Joanna runs up stairs, crawls all the way through the wires, and grabs her Cam Spy.  
  
"Hahahahaha! Give it up!" the G5 Robot yells..  
  
Joanna walks out of the building, walks to the car she parked, and drives away slowly..  
  
*At the Carrington Institute.*  
  
Joanna returns back, and hands the Cam Spy to Daniel Carrington.  
  
"Jo, I have new information.. That conversation was a fake.." Daniel tells Joanna..  
  
"Now.. We have the brand new Dr. Caroll, original back.." Daniel Carrington tells Joanna.  
  
"Okay.. Where is he?" Joanna asks..  
  
"Outside.." Daniel tells Joanna..  
  
Jo walks out side, and see a figure of a human, but looks like it is covered with panty hose and has Doctor Caroll's face.  
  
"Enough.. You know who I now am dear. We must destroy him my evil upgraded version.." Dr. Caroll tells Joanna..  
  
"Is it just me? Or is this getting cornier by the minute?" Grimshaw asks.  
  
"My upgraded version is building a weapon more powerful than the Cetans!" Dr.Caroll tells everyone..  
  
"It starts out with yelling vulgar laungage.."  
  
"This is getting too corny.." Grimshaw says.  
  
"Then it blows the planet up to smitheriens!" Dr.Caroll yells with shock.  
  
"Wait a second. Wasn't your upgraded version going to just destroy the Carrington Institute, then the Maian Race, and then the Skedar?" Grimshaw asks..  
  
"There isn't enough time to explain, we must prepare to go to his doomship.. But we must have a lot of equipment!" Dr.Caroll yells..  
  
Day through day, they work on new armor, weapons, and other crap.  
  
*12 days later.*  
  
The crew finally finished the stupid spaceship and weaponary Dr.Caroll told them to build..  
  
"Guess what I found out, while you people were wasting your time, Dr. Caroll Two made his stupid weapon. And he kidnapped the President, plus got in Space with his Titanium Laminated Spaceship!" Grimshaw tells all.  
  
"Okay, you 5 get out and save the world.." Daniel Carrington tells Dr. Caroll, Joanna, Elvis, Jonathan, and Velvet Dark.  
  
They all leave, and get in there big fancy suits, and enter the space shuttle..  
  
"This was so stupid, why didn't we contact the FBI or CIA, infact, why couldn't we ask NASA for a shuttle?" Grimshaw asks..  
  
The group of five enter their shuttle..  
  
"The shuttle launches in five seconds.." Foster says..  
  
5.. 4, 1.. Grimshaw and Foster just hit the launch button and the shutte launches into outter space..  
  
*In the Milky Way.*  
  
The shuttle blasts past Mars and heads towards the Skedar Home Planet..  
  
"LOOK AHEAD! I THINK I SEE A.. CARDOARD BOX!" Elvis yells..  
  
"Yes, that Cardboard Box Ship, is no ordinary cardboard box, my dear friend.. It's the weapon that will blow up the Skedar home planet.." Dr.Caroll says..  
  
"Okay.. Lets wait till it blows up.." Elvis tells everyone..  
  
"Why not get it over with.." Velvet says..  
  
"We must save the Skedar Planet, because if not, it will blow up. Then, when it blows up, it's pieces will spread all over the galaxy, crashed into planets, like Asteroids.." Dr. Caroll says..  
  
The ship crashes into the huge Cardboard Box, ship. Then the crew ejects, and flies face first into a wall with their Space Suits..  
  
"We are in.. Now lets get to my upgraded self.." Dr.Caroll says..  
  
Suddenly, a group of five Doctor Caroll Two's fly in..  
  
"The *@%ERS ARE HERE!" they yell..  
  
Dr. Caroll pulls out a NON-Vulgatrizer, then shoots the Dr. Caroll upgrades, and they blow up!  
  
*Outside The Cardboard Box Ship.*  
  
The Skedar drives there Attack Ship to the Cardboard Box and dock!  
  
*Inside the damn thing.*  
  
Suddenly, 10 Skedar run in with Maulers..  
  
"Forget this. You 4, go back home.. I'll deal with them!" Dr. Caroll says..  
  
"What are you going to do?" Elvis asks..  
  
"BLOW UP!" Dr.Caroll yells..  
  
Dr.Caroll throws Jonathan, Elvis, Joanna, and Velvet into there spaceship, then pushes it away with his powerful strength! Then the shuttle flies all the way back to Earth..  
  
"I'm going to BLOW UP!!!!" he yells,,  
  
Suddenly, the Cardboard ship, BLOWS UP TO MILLIONS OF PIECES! And the Skedar Planet Blows- Up TOO!  
  
THEN THOUSANDS OF ASTEROIDS FLY TOWARD EARTH, and the Maian PLANET, and THEY ALL BLOW UP!  
  
The End..  
  
*Back at reality.*  
  
"YOU HAVE GONE INSANE!" Chris Seavor yells.  
  
"Then everyone died, but no-one had enough time to care! The end.." - From The Author  
  
"That's it, take him away!" Leigh Loveday replies..  
  
"But, but, I only put in Two Short Stories!"  
  
"This isn't necessary.. The story can be cancelled.." Tusk yells..  
  
"Wait.. Let me finish."  
  
  
  
  
  
*Back at The Story.*  
  
"None of that happened.." Said Dr.Caroll..  
  
"What did?" Joanna asked..  
  
"My upgraded version of myself became so insane.. It began to control the thoughts and illusions of others, and made them insane too, but he became so insane. His memory disk fried.. Too much data, he just died.." Dr.Caroll say.  
  
Suddenly, Dr.Caroll blows up..  
  
"Looks like he had too much data and blew up also.." Elvis says..  
  
The Training Room Lady walks in..  
  
"How long were you in here?" She asks..  
  
"Um.. 12 days.." Joanna, Elvis, and Jonathan answer..  
  
"And what about her?" the Training Room Lady asks, pointing at Velvet unconscious..  
  
"Er. Don't know.." they all answer, and walk away.  
  
*At the G5 Building..*  
  
"This place sucks, can I have a soda?" the body taped to a wall asks, who is next to where Dr.Caroll Two used to be..  
  
"STOP COMPLAINING!" the G5 Patrol Robot replies..  
  
"Why am I here.. When do I get to go home.. This sucks.." the child blabbles on and on..  
  
"Can't talk all these annoying lines, must-" suddenly, the G5 Robot explodes..  
  
"Hello? Why did you blow up.." The child asks.  
  
  
  
The End. Really 


	5. Androids In Black

Note: This story is a like more serious than the other shorts.. Disclaimer- I do not own Men In Black, this story doesn't contain Agent K nor J, it doesn't contain any of those other characters, and any Perfect Dark characters you see, are owned by Rare.  
  
  
  
Okay, some of you know the Men In Black as, protectors of the universe, or destroyers of scum in the universe.. Well the truth is, the Men In Black are based off of the well-known Men In Black dinner jackets, well, actually, they are based off of the Men In Black... But there are large differences.. Men In Black appeared after most UFO/ET sightings, even some hoaxes, in North America, and of course they had their black dinner jackets, but let me tell you the main difference between the Movie and the real/reported stuff.. They didn't use weapons first thing, nor did they have that flash pen thingy.. Instead, they threatened people by saying they would kill them if they told anyone about what they saw.. One time they killed a person who made a popular UFO hoax.. Now, let's get to the other stuff, they had Limousines or Cadilacs, and always appeared in a group of 1 or three people.. They never had there headlights on, but they had some odd green glow from under there car, but that's not Mysterious for 2002 sense some cars now have a purple glow under them, but this Cadilac/Limousine green glow was in the late 1940 threw, well, now or 1990 something. If you want much more information.. Go to http://www.crystalinks.com/mib.html  
  
  
  
Chapter 1: Androids in Black  
  
The JumpShip leaves the Carrington Institute, cloaks, and heads towards West Virginia.  
  
"Rumors have been going on sense 1947 about Men in Black, they seemed to have always been after UFO scenes and UFO reports, they threatened people to never mention about the UFOs again, and seemed to kill a group of people who made a certain UFO hoax. Latest reports of them appeared from a certain person going to broadcast actual UFO recordings, the description of these men are that they walk in odd ways, don't speak English correctly, and wear black dinner jackets made out of a certain fabric that never get wet nor can attract mud." Carrington communicates to Joanna.  
  
"How am I going to find them?" Joanna asks.  
  
"Besides the fact of Limousines and Cadilacs that look brand new and never have their head lights on, and of course the black helicopters, there will be a diversion from certain friends of mine, but make sure you have your Cloaking Device on while the diversion is being created, but be careful, the Cloaking Device doesn't last long." Carrington tells Joanna  
  
"Okay, what do I do when I find them?" Joanna asks.  
  
"Place a Tracer Bug on their Limousine, and make sure you are surrounded by other humans, usual above 3 people. These so-called Men In Black are not human, therefore, much more powerful. They have slanted eyes and don't look American nor British. Make sure you act like you don't know them, and while doing that, hide. We also need evidence on these Black Helicopters.. Also, record the conversation these Men will say, and of course try to meet up with Jonathan AND Elvis.." Carrington tells Joanna.  
  
The Jumpship still remains cloaked and Joanna grabs parachute.  
  
"What about these Black helicopters?" Joanna asks.  
  
"Sorry, all I know is that they fly at illegal low altitude. Joanna, I need you to go to Farmer Brown's house, because he is fun to scare and he will be the only person besides you and Jonathan to see our friends tonight, Carrington out." Carrington finishes.  
  
The Jumpship stops near Clendenin, in West Virginia, then Joanna jumps out and falls to the ground before pull the string.  
  
"Owww.. Stupid Jumpship, altitude too low." Joanna complains, then gets up while the Jumpship leaves.  
  
Joanna gets out a map to Farmer Brown's house, follows the directions, and ends up near the farmer's house..  
  
"Joanna, Cloak yourself, the diversion is going to be created.." Daniel communicates to Joanna...  
  
Joanna turns the Cloaking Device on and closes her eyes, then a Maian Vessel flies above Farmer Brown's house!  
  
Farmer Brown wakes up terrified, and gets out a dataDyne shotgun, and runs outside...  
  
Suddenly, a Black Limousine drives to Farmer Brown and stops.  
  
Joanna gets out her Camspy..  
  
"This is getting easy." Joanna says, as she opens her eyes and sees the Black Limousine. Suddenly the door rises and the smell of it is like as if it was brand new. Suddenly, Asian looking humans walk out of the Limousine in black shiny suits, made out of a fabric not found on this planet. The 3 Asian looking men walk up to the farmer with his shotgun.  
  
Joanna gets near the Limousine and records the conversation..  
  
"What you saw, is only a fraction, of what happen." 1st Asian Man says.  
  
Joanna places a tracer bug on the Limousine while recording the conversation.  
  
The third Asian man gets out a Coin.  
  
"See coin?" 2nd Asian man says.  
  
The 3rd Man in Black tosses the coin and it disappears.  
  
"That is exactly what will happening to your heart if you tell any creature what you seed." the 2nd Man in Black says.  
  
"Bad bye. Now go away." the 1st Asian Man replies.  
  
Farmer Brown pretends to agree and walks away..  
  
Suddenly, Joanna's cloaking device wears off, then she runs behind the farmer's house. The Men In Black notice her, and get out something that looks like a Falcon 2.  
  
"Carrington, this is Joanna. I have spotted these odd men and placed the Tracer Bug." Joanna tells Carrington.  
  
"Good work Jo, but we need more Information on these Black Helicopters, and run into someone's house, or else." Daniel replies.  
  
Joanna turns around and runs into the city in front of a group of bums talking non-stop, the men know where Joanna is but they retreat, and look at her with their slanted eyes. Then walk in some robot fashion to their Limousine, and Drive away. Suddenly an odd noise is heard.  
  
"I think I should put on my Night-Vision." Joanna comments, and puts it on, noticing a helicopter at low altitude, then gets out his Camera and takes a picture of it quickly. The Limousine and Helicopter suddenly disappear.  
  
"Hello sexy!" the group of bums say to Joanna.  
  
Joanna runs away from the bums quickly and enters Farmer Browns' barn and locks all the doors, while the bums start heading towards the barn.  
  
"Elvis, where are you?" Joanna yells in her communicator.  
  
"Um. Joanna, I just somehow got in a crash, again, and.. OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! THOSE EYES! NO PLEASE, DO-" Elvis gets cut off.  
  
The bums outside abandon the barn..  
  
"Carrington! I have lost connections with Elvis.." Joanna yells in her communicator.  
  
Daniel doesn't reply..  
  
"JONATHAN! ARE YOU THERE!" Joanna screams in her communicator.  
  
"Yes.. I'm around still Jo.." Jonathan replies.  
  
"Where are you?" Joanna asks.  
  
"I'm at the BUS STATION, disguised as a bus driver, in a garage." Jonathan replies..  
  
Joanna gets out the map she had from earlier and spots it, suddenly, Men In Black appear!  
  
Joanna slams the doors down and yells, "I'm over hear you hobos!"  
  
Suddenly, hundreds of bums head toward the barn.  
  
"Last time you do it, we gite you and kill you." a Man In Black says, then disappears with the rest.  
  
The bums head towards Joanna..  
  
"Uh oh."  
  
*1 hour later.*  
  
Joanna runs for her life and heads towards the Bus Station Garage..  
  
She enters and spots Jonathan in a bus, then enters that bus, and the door locks.. The bums give up and walk away..  
  
*Inside the bus.*  
  
Joanna sees Jonathan and laughs at his uniform that's covered in dirt.  
  
"What?" Jonathan asks.  
  
"Nothing.. Anyway, did you get anything on Elvis?" Joanna stops laughing and replies.  
  
"Elvis, not really.. So what do we do now?" Jonathan asks...  
  
"Well, we could try to look for Elvis, but that'll be impossible.. So I guess I'll contact the Institute.." Joanna replies..  
  
Jonathan smashes a button near the steering wheel and a TV-Screen appears...  
  
"Carrington, I've completed everything except finding Elvis." Joanna says.  
  
"I just received information about something by the name of Moth Man, who lives at the TNT Area in Point Pleasant, he has Elvis and several other Maian in captivity." Daniel tells Joanna.  
  
"Moth Man? What the hell?" Joanna replies confused.  
  
"Don't joke, this is serious, the creature is affiliate with the Men in Black and the bridge incident destroying 46 cars, he is spotted somewhere at Point Pleasant in the State you are in near a TNT are, if you find a BUNCH of dead dogs, you must be near the creature. Remember, this creature has a wingspan over 10 feet and glides faster than any car, therefore, if not gliding, its speed is totally dangerous." Carrington replies.  
  
"So my point of meeting Jonathan was useless?" Joanna asks..  
  
"Not really, originally he was going to track the MIB down with you, but instead he'll be driving the bus to Point Pleasant and going to help you out on saving Elvis.. Carrington out." Carrington tells Joanna..  
  
"TO THE POINT PLEASANT TNT AREA!" Joanna yells at Jonathan..  
  
Jonathan shifts in to reverse and busts threw a wall with the bus, then drives outside and drives to a highway. As you could guess, he heads toward Point Pleasant in reverse,, 


	6. Androids in Black, Part 2!

Diasclaimer: I do not own the rights to X-Files, leave me alone Lawyers.. I only have 132 dollars right now anyways.. I do not own rights to TimeSplitters.. I do not own Time Squad rights either..  
  
Suddenly, a bunch of whistle goes on. Whistle whistle whistle WHISTLE whistle whistle WHISTLE Ba ba ba ba ba BA BAAA!! *whistle* whistle whistle whistle whistle whistle whistle whistllleee! Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba BAAAAAAAAA!!! Whistle whistle whistle whistle whistle BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!  
  
The truth is in HERE!  
  
Chapter 2: X-Files, Moth Man, and more Androids in Black Dinner Jackets..  
  
On the last episode of Androids In Black..  
  
"OH MY GOD! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT! THOSE EYES! NO PLEASE, DO-" Elvis yells  
  
"JONATHAN! ARE YOU THERE!" Joanna screams "Yes, I'm at THE bus station.." Jonathan replies  
  
"Last time you do it, we gite you and kill you." a Man In Black says, then disappears with the rest.  
  
"TO THE POINT PLEASANT TNT AREA!" Joanna yells at Jonathan..  
  
Now, to whats happening in this episode, of AIB  
The bus drives to Point Pleasant (West Virginia) in Reverse, then stops.  
  
" John and Jo, the Moth Man is most likely the one who kidnapped Elvis!" Daniel tells them..  
  
"Just who is this MOTH MAN? Is he some super hero or super villian who is in some Moth Costume?" Joanna asks..  
  
"No Joanna, the Moth Man is believed to be an alien from outer space. He doesn't look like a Moth at all, well, maybe a little, but he looks more like a certain type of owl judging by the look he doesn't have a neck. He has a black coat.. He has wings.. And.." Jonathan explains to Joanna and pauses..  
  
"You expect me to believe all this?" Joanna asks.. "And the Moth Man has BIG RED BIKE REFLECTOR LIKE EYES!" Jonathan yells, getting out two red bike reflectors and putting them on his eyes..  
  
"Hey! Where did you get those?" Joanna asks..  
  
"There was a bike next to this Bus when it was at the bus station, so I ripped them off because I was bored." Jonathan replies..  
  
"Anyways the Moth Man has legs like a human, except covered in black fur. He was named the Moth Man because at the time when he was discovered, super heroes were popular, and they called him Moth MAN for the heck of it.." Jonathan tells Joanna..  
  
"Somehow, I get the feeling you are making this all up!" Joanna replies..  
  
"I am not.. Now during these reports of the Moth Man, people claimed they saw odd people in Black Dinner Jackets, nick named Men in Black.. Is the Moth Man really an extra terrestrial trying to be covered by alien agents, or is the Moth Man nothing more than a Government Experiment gone wrong, trying to be covered up by the government and it's agents? We may never know.." Jonathan tells Joanna, in the voice of the host from Unsolved Mysteries.  
  
"Okay, fine, whatever, I believe you. Just lets finish this damn mission.." Joanna replies..  
  
Suddenly, knocking on the bus door is heard!  
  
"It's probally those stupid Androids!" Joanna says.  
  
Joanna whips out her Falcon 2 Silenced, then kicks the bus door open!  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" Everyone screams.  
  
Then there is a long pause.. Outside the bus there are two people seen, both FBI agents, one Male, the other Female.. Male has Black hair, female has Red Hair.  
  
The male FBI agent gets out his badge and shows it to the two CI agents. The name FOX MULDER..  
  
"This area is strictly forbinden to anyone right now, the Federal Bury of Investigation is currently investigating this spot.." Fox Mulder tells Joanna and Jonathan..  
  
Jonathan and Joanna quickly get out their ID, with a label on the side "CI"..  
  
"We work for the Carrington Institute, we were sent to investigate this area for the hell of it and to save a friend of ours.." Jonathan tells them..  
  
"How do we know you are telling the truth? CI could stand for Crazy Insiders, or Completely Insane!" Fox Mulder replies..  
  
"Please excuse agent Mulder, he's a little insane and he'll believe anything, even Vampires that eat wastes from other creatures.." the female FBI agent replies.. "They do exist Scully! What do I have to do to convince you!" Fox Mulder asks.. "Well, every time there is a Vampire case, it turns out the person had fake teeth, suffered from extreme trauma, was a mutant when born, or was just a normal human that was always insulted.." Scully replies..  
  
"Scully, I had this job for over 30 years, same story for you, we both know about the truth now!" Fox Mulder yells..  
  
"WILL EVERYONE SHUT UP! GOD!" Joanna yells..  
  
There is a long pause..  
  
"So, what do we have to do to prove that we work for the Carrington Institute?" Jonathan asks..  
  
Suddenly, the screen from the bus pops up and Daniel Carringtons face is seen..  
  
"I'm waiting.. When you are going to investigate? Elvis could die of boredom if you continue to stand her agent Dark and agent. Jonathan.. something.." Daniel says..  
  
"Well, that's good enough proof for me." Fox Mulder Replies..  
  
"Now, what exactly do you want us to do?" Joanna asks Daniel Carrington..  
  
"Right now Grimshaw and Foster are currently tracking the limosine you put a bug on, it seemed to, well, can't be read, however, with the help of Grimshaw, our best hacker, things don't have to be worried.. This Moth Man has taken Elvis to who knows where.. But enough of that, I have no further information, Carrington Out.."  
  
"OKAY! What the hell is with you and this alien named Elvis! I know he is one of the Greys! Better known as Maians!" Fox Mulder yells..  
  
"Look, it is a very long story, that is totally not important right now.. The *ahem* creature was taken by another creature, the Moth Man!" Jonathan yells.  
  
"Okay, it's confiirmed we are going to get the Maian back, that's nice.. Now lets see what weapons you have.." Fox Mulder tells them.  
  
Joanna gets out an RCP-120 and a silenced Falcon-2.. Jonathan gets out a DY Magnum and a pack of Mines (different types)..  
  
"You still don't seem right.." Fox looks at Joanna carefully..  
  
Joanna gets out a Phoenix. Jonathan gets out his Pulse Laser..  
  
"I knew it! You aren't trained like us! How can we trust you also! You depend on these new weapons too much!" Fox Mulder states.. Then gets out a simple PP9i..  
  
"Mulder, quit this non-sense and lets get it over with.." Scully tells Fox..  
  
"Okay.. Jonathan and Scully, you team up together and investigate the Bomb Shelters, while me and Joanna investigate outside the Bomb Shelter in this TNT place.." Fox Mulder tells everyone..  
  
"What!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Joanna replies not feeling right..  
  
"You gotta point, Jonathan and Scully, investigate outside the Bomb Shelters, while we investigate inside them.." Fox Mulder comes to conclusion..  
  
Everyone leaves the bus, and get into there positions..  
  
While Scully and Jonathan investigate outside, they see an odd air craft suddenly dissapear!  
  
Suddenly, a Limosine drives in front of them, then one of the doors open and a man with black hair walks out.  
  
"What you saw was nothing more than the planet Venus! Do you know how often Venus is Mistaken as a UFO? Venus is also part of the swamp gas phenomenon! It's VENUS! " The man yells!!  
  
This man with a black hat, sunglasses, and dinner jacket continues to blabber on about Venus!  
  
"Okay.. It's really Venus! Now go away!" Jonathan yells..  
  
"Remember, Swamp Gas, Venus! Venus is also responsible for Swamp Gas, it's Green House effect reflects to Earth's water, causing illusions!" the man in the black dinner jacket states..  
  
"But there isn't a swamp here for more than 10 miles. We couldn't possibly see swamp gas from this area.." Scully replies..  
  
"Then you just saw the planet Venus!" the man replies..  
  
"But Venus is on the other side of the Solar System at this time.. All studies show it's on the other side.. Seeing Venus would not only be hard to see with the naked eye, but you couldn't see it at all with anything due to Earth's position except in the day, and therefore, right now it's night, Venus has nothing to do with this!" Scully yells.  
  
"NO! Venus' reflection hits the moon and the moon reflects it to the Earth!" the man yells.  
  
"But there isn't a moon out, this time of the week, the moon is on the other sides of Earth.." Jonathan says to the man..  
  
"Tell them what you saw, BUT SAY NOTHING!" the man yells, walking back into his Limosine and drives away..  
  
Suddenly.. Two humans, one female, other male, run towards the Point Pleasant area with tons of weapons covering their body! They start running up to Joanna and Scully, then stop..  
  
"What the hell? Um.. Joanna.." Scully says, touching Joanna. "What? Oh, my god!" Joanna turns around, to see two people wearing black dinner jackets, except, they don't have that MIB feel.  
  
"You are in danger! Get your arse out of here!" the male yells.  
  
Meanwhile, with Jonathan and Fox Mulder..  
  
"Mulder.. I think I found a clue! A sign with bullet holes, a beer bottle, and a bunch of shotgun shells!" Jonathan tells Mulder. "Actually those aren't clues.. However, if we are dealing with the special species-"  
  
Suddenly, a big flash of light wizzes past Fox Mulder and Jonathan, and 2 humans and a robot are seen.  
  
"This is Time Squad!" Tud Rustle yells..  
  
"What the hell?" Jonathan asks.  
  
"People have been saying that we have visitors from the future and--.. Wait a second.." Fox Mulder looks at Otto.  
  
"That kid is from the 1990's! What the heck?" Fox Mulder tells Jonathan confused.  
  
"Look. I haven't got time for this. We need to find these people from the year 4,000 who have been using Alien Technology.." Tudrustle tells them..  
  
"What?"  
  
"Look Tudrustle, I doubt any body would know what you are talking about! Besides, the people we are looking for are never in their true bodies for Time Travel.." Larry 3000 tells Tudrustle..  
  
"There they are!" Otto yells, pointing where Scully and Joanna are.. Later, the gang, un-splits up.. 


	7. Androids in Black, Part 3!

Diasclaimer: I do not own the rights to X-Files, leave me alone Lawyers.. I only have 20 dollars right now anyways.. I do not own rights to TimeSplitters.. I do not own Time Squad rights either..  
  
Suddenly, a bunch of whistle goes on. Whistle whistle whistle WHISTLE whistle whistle WHISTLE Ba ba ba ba ba BA BAAA!! *whistle* whistle whistle whistle whistle whistle whistle whistllleee! Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba BAAAAAAAAA!!! Whistle whistle whistle whistle whistle BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Suddenly Time Squad music goes on! Then Timesplitters 2 music goes on.. Then it all stops..  
  
Chapter 3: Time Squad, eh Time Splitters, and MOTHMAN becomes a hero.. Yeah..  
  
Tudrustle, Larry 3000, and Otto walk up to Scully and Joanna.  
  
"Who the heck are you guys! What's with the crappy outfits?" Joanna asks. "Okay.. There has been a slight problem.. Shall I explain?" Larry 3000 asks. "What is it?" Scully asks.. A little nervous..  
  
"Okay.. We seem to be having a problem.. There has been many acts of time travel recently, and it really messes up the time continuem.. We are from the year 1 million, and we are the Time Squad.. Anyhow, there are 2 particular people we are looking for.. They are from the year..2401.. Where Time Travel hasn't been invented by humans at all but however was used by them.. The Time Travel was made by a group of aliens nicknamed by humans "TimeSplitters". Then the humans must chase the aliens down, using their technology against themselves.. It has a lot of blood and gore, but we like to make our video game about it censored for the kids.. Anyhow, this is the part where they find their Time Crystal quickly and leave! The technology at that time however, seemed to affect the humans into taking control of their ancestors because the humans weren't born yet, blah blah blah, the end." Larry 3000 finishes..  
  
Tudrustle grabs Scully.  
  
Meanwhile..  
  
"Have you found any Crystals? Green ones recently?" Mulder asks. "Eh.. No.." Jonathan replies.. Otto runs up to Mulder, grabs his hand, runs up to Tudrustle with Scully and Larry 3000, and they teleport away..  
  
"What the hell?" Joanna and Jonathan mummer.. Suddenly, Time Squad teleports back with Scully and Mulder.. "Remember, you saw nothing.. The end!" Tudrustle replies.. Time Squad then simply teleports back to the year 1 million..  
  
"Okay.. Eh.. Lets get back to the alien hunting.." Jonathan says..  
  
Suddenly, the Mothman flies up in front of Mulder and screeches real loud and stares at him with his bright red eyes.  
  
"Um.. Do you know where Elvis is? Mr. Mothman?" Joanna asks. "He's in a shack.. With TNT.. He may die, or live.. The robotic cyborgs have big guns, and have him hostage.." The Mothman says with his MIND!  
  
"Wait a second.. Why are you helping us?" Scully asks.  
  
"Those monsters used me.. And you humans are my best chance, for REVENGE!" Mothman replies..  
  
"The Men In Black are very dangerous, how can we defeat them?" Jonathan asks.  
  
"These Men In Black are amazed by simple human objects, if we can get jello, spoons, forks, and pens, we can create a diversion!" Mulder replies.. Joanna tosses a Falcon 2 to Mothman, and the creature catches it with his foot.. "If you are gonna try to make it through alive, you are gonna need that weapon!" Joanna tells the MothMan.. "TO THE STORE! To get there.. TO THE BUS MOBILE!" Mothman says..  
  
Jonathan, Joanna, Scully, and Mulder enter the bus and head towards a supply store, while Mothman glides in the sky..  
  
At a local Supplies Store..  
  
The Mothman enters the store and the clerk sees him..  
  
"Oh no! Its that creature I saw in the 1960s! That's it.. I'm never gonna drink hard liquor at night again!" the clerk yells, then faints..  
  
"Its okay, everybody enter!" Mothman yells.  
  
Joanna, Jonathan, Scully, and Mulder enter the supply store..  
  
"I've got the Jello!" Jonathan yells, picking up a Kool-Aide Brand of six pack Jello.. "I've got the Spoons and Forks!" Scully yells.. "I've found the pens!" Joanna yells.. "I've got the sun flower seeds!" Mulder yells..  
  
Wait a second, they don't need sun flower seeds.. Oh well, Mulder loves em anyway.. Suddenly the clerk wakes up.. "You can't steal any of the stuff.. You gotta pay for it!" the clerk yells, getting out a DataDyne Shotgun..  
  
They bring the items to the clerk..  
  
"Okay.. Jello Cherry Six-Pack from Kool-Aide.. $2.95! Spoons and Forks.. Eh.. $35.79! Pens.. 7.85! Sunflower seeds, $5.02.. That's eh,., Let's see, carry the one.. And eh.. Oh crap.." Clerk tries to figure out the price..  
  
"Oh speed up! Will you!" Joanna yells.. "Its.. Um.. $54.36.. Yeah!" Clerk answers.. "Great, we don't have that.. Do you take Visa?" Joanna asks. "No.." Clerk replies.. "Delta?" Mulder asks.. "No.." "Texaco Gas Station card?" Jonathan asks. "Hell No.." "Checks?" Scully asks.. "No.." "Discovery?" asks the Mothman.. "Yes.. What the? AHH! The thing! The mothman! The the! AAAHHH!!" the clerk yells and soon faints. "Can you get it for me Mulder? Its under my left wing.. Kinda hard to get with no neck and one leg to stand and all.." Mothman tells Mulder..  
  
Mulder grabs the Discovery card.. Suddenly the Clerk wakes up.. "$54.36!" Clerk yells.. Then grabs the Discovery card and presses da buttons! "Okay done.. Now get lost!" Clerk yells.. "Okay.." Replies the Mothman.. The clerk faints..  
  
Meanwhile, at the TNT shack..  
  
"Oh how lonely it is.. Being a Maian--" "SHUT UP IN THERE! We don't wanna hear you singing at all!" yells a Man In Black  
  
Outside the TNT shack..  
  
"Okay.. Got the Diversion set up!" Joanna tells Mulder. "Okay.. Just sneak up to them!" Mulder replies..  
  
Jonathan starts sneak up toward a group of Men In Black..  
  
"Prepare to attack.. The human is trying to hide.. Put on thermal vision!" the leader tells his comrades.  
  
Jonathan then jumps up in plain sight..  
  
"Any last words!"  
  
"Eat this!" Jonathan yells! Then he tosses a six-pack of Jello towards the Androids..  
  
"Eat! You drink this stuff!" the androids reply.. Then they fight over the Jello pack..  
  
Joanna tosses pens at them!  
  
"These things! What are they? So special and amusing!" an android yells while grabbing pens, then he soon runs away..  
  
Scully then throws forks and spoons at the remaining Men In Black..  
  
"Ah these things! Must have them! Must keep and confirm! Abort mission!" the remaining androids all yell, grabbing the spoons and forks running away.  
  
Inside the TNT Shack!  
  
"Oh no.. Look what they've done! They have made my fellows retreat!" the last Man In Black yells.. "So?" Elvis asks.. "I can't let them know about Aliens! Never!" the Man In Black yells.. The Last Man In Black reveils his weapon.. It looks like a Desert Eagle.. "Don't be fooled by this weapon.. It might look like it comes from humans.. But it isn't. although the human Desert Eagle can easily destroy your weak skull, I prefer overkill in this case!" the last Man In Black yells.. "Yeah.. But they already know about Aliens.." Elvis replies.. The barrel on the weapon lengthens by 2 feet.. Then a glass jar filled with Green Toxic Acid pops out from the back of the gun.. Suddenly, two rocket launchers pop out from the sides.. BANG! BANG! Suddenly the android falls on the ground and behind him is the Mothman! "What the heck is going on here?" Elvis asks.. "I saw his death coming.. These androids wanted me to work for them, nothing more.. I am no longer going to be their experiment.." Mothman replies, then floats up to the ceiling of the TNT shack.. "Yeah.. Now can someone untie me from these invisible ropes?" Elvis asks.. The Mothman soon uses his right foot with his sharp claws and rips the ropes off.. Suddenly, the android gets up.. And the Mothman quickly drops his Falcon 2..  
  
"I thought you said you saw his death coming?" Elvis tells the Mothman.. "I did.. But eh, he didn't die from a Falcon 2 bullet.." Mothman replies.. "You pathetic creature.. Do you think a simple bullet from a pathetic gun made by humans could destroy me! It take more than that to pierce through steel stronger than anything from this planet!" the android replies.. Elvis quickly gets his Farsight XR-20.. "Well guess what! I just got the thing!" Elvis yells.. The android turns around.. "What is it.. A simple toy I presume?" the android in black replies.. "Nope.. It's a Rail-Gun.. Made by my species.. Now die!" Elvis yells, then pulls the trigger, and a huge hole is made through the android's body.. Elvis spots a timer inside the androids body.. "What's this!" Elvis asks.. "It's a bomb! Lets get the hell out of here!" Mothman yells, then busts the door open and grabs Elvis with his legs and flies toward the BUS..  
  
Near the bus..  
  
"Think he is done?" Joanna asks.. "Let's go check!" Jonathan replies..  
  
Suddenly, the Mothman and Elvis fly by Joanna and company..  
  
"We gotta get our asses out of here pronto! Somebody set us up a bomb! Let's move it!" Mothman yells..  
  
Joanna and Company enter the bus and exit Point Pleasant TNT area as fast as possible.. Suddenly the TNT Shack blows up and they make it out alive..  
  
MISSION COMPLETED!  
  
New Cheat: PLAY AS THE MOTHMAN!  
  
Near a Bus Stop.  
  
"Well.. Sorry, but its time for us to go.. Maybe we'll see you guys again someday.. Its nice to know there is finally a peace with aliens and understanding.. Well.. We gotta go.." Mulder says.. "It was kinda nice to know we had people just like us.. But oh well.. It's time to leave Mulder.." Scully replies.. The two leave the bus..  
  
"Man, the government is going to find me mighty suspicious with this low bus fair.. The only money inside the box is my own.. Oh well.. Back to the Carrington Institute.." Jonathan tells Joanna..  
  
Carrington Institute  
  
"Well, it turns out the Mission was a success after all.. But who made the androids in black, and why were they made so horribly? Is this the first time in history an android in Black was killed?" Carrington asks.. "I don't know.. But what makes me suspicious is.. How come you scared me so much! We got caught because of you!" Elvis tells the Mothman.. "Well, I always thought flying saucers were fake, then I saw a real one, and I got very hyper-active.. Sorry for scaring you.." Mothman tells Elvis.. "But one thing still bothers me.. Elvis, your spaceship, where is it!" Joanna asks. "Its still at the Barn.. Why?" Elvis asks.. "Oh.. This is not good.. The government might have found it!" Jonathan tells Elvis..  
  
At the Barn House  
  
A bunch of Bums are near the saucer.. "Aliens! Heh heh! Look, comfy craft!" a hobo says to his friend.. "You think that hot lady will ever come back?" the friends asks to his hobo.. Suddenly the doors are knocked down, and a farmer with a shotgun comes in.. "Ah bloody hell! Get out of my barn! What in the bloody hell! Get out now! Now!" the farmer yells, then the bums leave the farm.. The farmer spots the saucer. "I got me's an idea!" he yells..  
  
THE END: Of Androids in Black.. Yay! 


End file.
